USING INTIMIDATION

• Making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures

• Smashing things

• Destroying her property

• Abusing pets

• Displaying weapons

 

USING EMOTIONAL ABUSE

• Putting her down

• Making her feel bad about herself

• Calling her names

• Making her think she's crazy

• Playing mind games

• Humiliating her

• Making her feel guilty

 

USING ISOLATION

• Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes

• Limiting her outside involvement

• Using jealousy to justify actions

 

MINIMIZING, DENYING AND BLAMING

• Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously

• Saying the abuse didn't happen

• Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior

• Saying she caused it

 

USING CHILDREN

• Making her feel guilty about the children

• Using the children to relay messages

• Using visitation to harass her

• Threatening to take the children away

 

USING MALE PRIVILEGE

• Treating her like a servant

• Making all the big decisions

• Acting like the "master of the castle"

• Being the one to define men's and women's roles

 

USING ECONOMIC ABUSE

• Preventing her from getting or keeping a job

• Making her ask for money

• Giving her an allowance

• Taking her money

• Not letting her know about or have access to family income

 

USING COERCION AND THREATS

• Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her

• Threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare

• Making her drop charges

• Making her do illegal things